she was so not down for the gang bang
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So apparently I’m into choking now
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