Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
