I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
