Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
