i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
