i don't like sucking hair
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
