I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
it glows. i had to have it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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