OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is my gift to your gina
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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