What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
