did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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