What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
