i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
