that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
And then he peed in my hair
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
