We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
