very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
