READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
