They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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