i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize