Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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