So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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