the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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