it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
