There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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