i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
