i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
