Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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