He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
