he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
MIDGETS
????
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize