It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
