too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
