I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
