Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
