i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
