I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
NoShamevember. You game?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize
