I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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