Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
