what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
