# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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