i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
