I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
