Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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