There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
