my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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