I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Small penises have feelings too.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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