hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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