carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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