you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
