you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
