I'm pants shitting drunk right now
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Come back. Shots need mouths.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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