I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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