I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
