How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
