i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize