I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
