were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
