Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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