Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i think i just naturally attract stoners
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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