I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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