It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
