I want to stick my p in your. b.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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