Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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