is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
