...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All the doctor said was why
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
