that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You made out with two different species that night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
