I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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