The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
