dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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