Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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