No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
