i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize