I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
